i’ve chosen to leave this nightmarish place…
n step into a never return road…
it’s either wat I like and hopefully successful…
Or wat i dun hav much interest and maybe successful…
ppl said…
interest can be grown…
but from what i’ve suffered in matric…
i started to doubt it…
staying at matric wont ensure my future…
ppl say matric is easy…
i’ll object the statement…
it’s definitely not easy for chinese…
definitely not easy…
study bio at matric makes me wanna die…
study physics at matric makes me vomit…
in fact, i’ve ruined my beginning here…
impossible to reverse it now…
all becoz of my stupid mistake…
no one can help me now…
not even myself…
only God…
i’m a boy… who luv physics veli much…
i kept telling everyone i’ll b physics teacher in da future… or sumthing equivalent… math oso can…
then tat time… my mum juz tot i’m joking..
till form 5 is going to end…
my mum is still like tat…
all the while when i’m studying F4 F5 my mum says i’ll b going Form 6 only…
i say ok loh…
coz tat’s wat my brothers did…
n then suddenly… when result are out…
she say…. wanna stuff me into matric in any means…
i say …. ok lo again… then tat’s the biggest mistake in my life…
then….. go apply jpa summore…
n when applying jpa…. i’m wondering whether to choose Actuary Science or Engineering….
while my eldest brother n mum strongly suggest tat i choose dentistry…
so…. to please my mum….
i did another mistake again…
then matric come suddenly…
err… rewind a bit…
n then form 6 starts…
i wanted to choose physics class…
n a great objection arise…
then wif guiltiness… i go bio class…
then matric come suddenly…
i go matric then…
my mum want me to enter bio… then i appealed for it…
then got it…
n then i hate it so much…
more than i first came to matric…
until the rate of skipping class increased to 100% a day…
until now… jpa release…
dentistry in india…
at 1st b4 knowing i got JPA, i got hope to go back to Form 6 if i keep it like tat…
but the d*** govermnent…
now my hope to go back form 6… n the chance… bcome zero…
n my mum say… she’ll let me get back physics in matric… but haven do it coz office closed… i doubt whether i can get physics…
n then…
no choice…
i now dun hav confidence to excel in STPM…
mayb in everything in life oso…
so… i chose tat..
but now… haven change in matric….
but then… i’ve applied to change the course to actuary science 4 JPA…
n then the chance is… slimmer than paper…
n my parents n my evil brother r trying to sabotage me to take physics in matric…
i’m lost…
lost…
i’m trapped…
trapped in my own mistake…
no return…
no forgiveness…
i’m done…
i’ve lost confidence to everything in my life…
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